Working with couples is a passion for me because I appreciate the primacy of relationships in our lives. They are, in many ways, the cornerstone of our existence. When our relationships are out of whack, it’s painful and frustrating. Perhaps you'd like nothing more than to reconnect with your partner, just make things better, yet efforts to do so are thwarted by familiar, but self-sabotaging behaviors. “What to do?”
My philosophy rests on the Relational Life Therapy (RLT) model developed by world-renowned therapist Terry Real. I'm professionally trained in this approach, which looks to identify a couple's negative patterns (or ‘dance’), see where they're stuck, and help them develop more adaptive ways of responding to one another. My approach emphasizes individual accountability -- you can’t change a behavior unless you know you’re doing it.
Unlike many couple’s therapists who aspire toward being "fair,” I take sides when necessary. I do this because it’s often the case that one person is “right" and the other is “wrong” (relationally, not morally) and pretending that isn’t the case just perpetuates the problem. As well, while many therapists may simply sit back and listen, I take an active approach in my work, looking to dislodge old ways of relating and redirect couples toward more adaptive ways of being with each other.
Marathon Sessions for couples are also available for situations in which the standard allotment may not be enough. These sessions are three hours in length and include individual sessions for each person followed by a joint session.
It's hard to accept, but intimacy is not easy. It really is work. But the way back to re-connection is the journey. It's not a detour. It's the inevitable work.